Have you noticed a change? I've formulated this lovely post in my head explaining the change and the why. A beautiful, D & M... which will have to wait. Instead I'm going to write a Day In My Life - I've only ever done one before and whilst these aren't typical days I like to write them so I can immortalize the ridiculousness of being me. Sometimes crazy, occasionally downright scary and nearly always stupendously funny.
My Mumma Bear turned sixty this year way back in January and in her style she was very understated and I promised myself I would do something special for her or with her. I would do something!!!! No idea what :P As the months rolled by I conceived a plan to day trip it to a special bunch of tiny towns about two hours from here. Imagine a suburban hippy haven where the produce is always organic, Woolworths Supermarket is shunned, delicious cafes and multitudes of little sancturys, harboring expensive goodies beckon me and the Mastercard (the one card to rule them all ;) to sidle on in (I have to sidle, even though he isn't here I know Mr E will KNOW - he just does, a sixth sense!) and give that Credit Card a battering. Oh what a pleasurable plan!!! I'll show my Mumma these three such towns all located consecutively within about ten or so minutes from each other. I imagined sharing with Mumma, the luscious undulating pasture land where the cows have million dollar views. Scenery that grows all the more breathtaking as we putter (annoyingly, I'm sure, to the local motorists- 'Damn tourists' , I swear I can hear them cursing :O) languorously higher up into the mountains. Rainforest and lakes will be unveiled in their natural splendour that makes me gloriously pleased to live here in Oz. And Mumma Bear will have a beautiful, special, Perfect 60th Birthday outing from us :)
So how did it really go?
2am Why on earth am I still awake?! I need to drive so much in the morning. The night is not peaceful. All the little noises have natural sources but scenes from the worst horror movies I've seen creep their way into my head. I swear, once again, that I deserve to be haunted by ghastly images if I will subject myself to such crap. Dazed from the lack of sleep I wonder how well I'd go protecting my vulnerable little boys in the next room from the nasties of my imagination. Sliding out of bed, I'm hoping that the Thing Under the Bed doesn't grab my feet, and I walk cautiously around the house to be sure all is well.
6am Rise and Shine, Here Comes the Day. Throw all our stuff together and relent so much on the no lego in the car rule that I grab a whole bucketful to place between Kookaburra and Kangaroo, because I'd rather search for missing pieces and deal with tears over the lost items then let them watch more Movies on their little TV's in the backseats. We skip breakfast, grab Mumma from Brother Bears house and dive into drive through at the golden arches, to the complete pleasure of the vertically challenged crew in the back of the car. Opening up the brown, paper bag after paying and yep wouldn't you know it, the boys is there, but mine? Nope. No brekky. But hey, there's coffee. And after foregoing caffeine for the past week it's nice to indulge and I feel that I'm in need after last nights lack of Zzzzz's.
9am Thinking I'm making awesome time to a little pit-stop on the way to the triple pleasure towns, I get to the point of destination. I realize then, that I shouldn't have switched off the yabbering GPS because when it was telling me I was going the wrong way (boys thought this was hysterical, they love hearing Tom Tom tell me I'm doing something wrong) I really was going the wrong way. Okay, so that town that starts with K is different to this other one that also begins with K. I think my confusion is understandable because they both have three syllables to each of their names, too! C'mon! Be kind :D Yep. I'm so steaming mad at myself right then that I stew over the lost hour or so whilst I kindly turn old Tom Tom back on and proceed to trust the GPS.
9.30am Come back out at the highway a little closer to where we should be going.
10.30am Arrive at the correct K place with the same amount of syllables as the last K place we 'visited'. Kookaburra needs a break from the car. Poor guy gets car sick or is it that he remembers the amazing playground here? I would drive the hour or so just for the fun of this playground. It features a lot of very different play equipment and the town has such a sweet ambiance. Mumma's in good spirits and she toddles off to the Cheese Place while my Kiddilies have a beaut time at the park. Kookaburra hurtles on the flying fox at break neck speeds and I wonder if we'll be visiting the hospital today also.
As we leave K, I instruct Tom Tom to our destination but then find that we need to turn him off again. My boys are laughing hysterically in the back seat because Tom Tom really does want me to go the wrong way. This time there are signs and I have the correct name of our destinations. I choose to follow the signs.
11.30amish Phew, made it.
11.35amish Oooooh! A sign for a Lake, lets go there. Do we know how far? How long? Is it worth it? No. I'm driving. It's my steering wheel, so we're about to find out.
After about twenty minutes of winding and twisting, turning driving, I begin to doubt my decision. But never to let anyone see that I may be contemplating that I made an unwise choice, I figure we'll plug on and hope that our destination eventuates soon.
12pm Woohoo! We round a last bend and the Lake far exceeds our puny expectations. She is breath taking and magnificent and Beautiful. As we extract the last small person from the car I'm still stunned at the glory surrounding us and I had no idea it was here. I rapidly snap pictures in the hopes that at least two will be awesome. Wild Kookaburra's are swooping to be hand fed!!!! My Kookaburra holds out some sausage on his flat palm to tempt them and snap! the sausage is gone. Later this evening, Brother Bear regales me with his close encounters with such birds and describes their fearsome beaks - they are Kingfishers after all!! *FacePalm* myself!!! Stupid Woman, didn't even consider my Kookaburra could be in any sort of danger!
12.30pmish We drive repeatedly around the same full car park at the first Tiny Town. I finally give up and then drive past two eligible car parks which I neglect for something easier. Easier? Where? Eventually, we find somewhere easier to park. Easier involves not holding up traffic with reversing and No Kookaburra, this it isn't a timed park. He's always asking this after I received a fine for said offence locally. He's persistent and asks nearly every time we park!
Our happy crew admiringly wanders through the first Tiny Town, stopping frequently at various lovely shops and only sometimes leaving tearfully because of a No! More often, departure is joyful because of a tiny something. Kookaburra and Kangaroo's happiest buys are large lollipops, a splendidly handmade cake of soap each ($6!!!!!! each!!!!!!) and a necklace. A side-trip to the op shops of course, unearths a new treasure (*junk*) which results in more tears due to Kangaroo wanting to hug the 'new' truck, which is half his size, as we continue our wander around the town.
2pm We arrive at our second Tiny Town after only two mad careerings off the road to take photo's from amazing lookouts. The dashings off the road in our fine Motor Vehicle was perfectly safe, Mr E. No cars around and perfectly maneuvered but as the time is ticking on I 'm feeling desperate to pack more in with Mumma Bear, hence the dashing. As we drive into this tiny town, I wonder why on earth we bothered with the first. This is even more appealing and delightful. We happen upon a glassblowing artisans shop and become so absorbed in talking to the lady, watching a video on how the clever artist creates her mindbogglingly intricate works of art and having coronaries in keeping Kangaroo away from all the glass - he's named Kangaroo for good reason - that more time ticks on, pleasurably.
3pm Time to secure lunch. Fruit and scoffing a box of chippy biscuits, does not lunch make. Time to remedy that. Whilst strolling the entire beautiful strip, clicking happily away at the gazillion photo opportunities, I stupidly mention the existence of a rainforest nearby we could see, if we quickly consume our lunch and keep going. Kangaroo latches onto the image of a 'Rainforest' and does not let go. A little more shopping ensues, as well as toilet stops and during all this the clock is ticking onto......
4pm The cafe's and reasonably budget friendly restaurants are shutting up for the day!!! Eeek! We need sustenance! We secure a lovely little venue, reasonably priced and peruse the menu. Executive decisions are made regarding the meals and as I go to pay, wha'do you know?! Cash only, of course. Who me? Cash? I'm notorious for not having cash because it always finds itself spent on a justifiable cause. I have plenty of spending money on my debit card but as I eye the street for an ATM my careful Mumma Bear comes to the rescue with her cashed up purse to embarrass my poor penniless one ('I'll pay you back Mumma!').
4.15pm Food! Glorious Food!!! Everybody tucks in but Umm... I didn't pay for a hair in my burger! Time is of the essence. I'm feeling faint and a little crabby (so out of tune with the peaceful Mumma I want to be) and I weigh up my options. Complain and have a new burger cooked (like my hair has never accidentally fallen into my own cooking ;) or, by deftly removing said offending follicle we keep our momentum? I take one for the team, because increasingly Kangaroo is Very focused on the Rainforest and I think I'd like for them to see it. Naughtily, I encourage my family to inhale their meals at a moderately leisurely pace.
5pm Fortunately indigestion has been avoided and we arrive at the Rainforest. Hurriedly, but cautiously I herd my keen crew down the steep winding path to the beginning of the rainforest walk. Three tracks are identified but only one indicates a length and that, of course, is immediately eliminated being that it is nearly 5km's. We choose the Falls path. We're all keen to see waterfalls. Snap, snap - lots of pictures. Light is paramount and I remind everyone that we need to keep an eye on the time, which is difficult for me to do as I have lost my watch :( and no-one else has a watch. No matter. There are plenty of walkers and we need only be sensible. Quite a ways in we hear rushing water but yet we are no closer to these Falls. A fellow walker passes the other way telling ours boys to be sure to count the one hundred steps down. Well, we stopped counting after we got to one hundred and there were a lot more after that. We come to a rockpool, which was obligatorily beautiful but it is time to get our butts burning back up that mountain and get back before dark. Here is where it starts to become frightening. I imagine multitudes of scenarios as we laboriously trail our way back in the fading light to the car park. I piggy back Kangaroo all the way and more, back. Kookaburra is valiant, a brave, little knight who, as light is swiftly fading in the Rainforest, is reminding us to keep our eyes to the distant, light sky. And my Mumma Bear? With her poor knees and sixty year old body which has been tied up with working enormous hours and not having time for that all important fitness regime. How is she faring? Breathing heavily and pushing on as hard as she can. A real legend. How hard is it to be the adult in charge and realize you've messed up?! I have put them all at risk for not wrapping up the walk sooner. Eyes on the goal girl and we'll be okay. Take care of them and stay chipper. Instruct and don't let on even remotely how frightened I'm truly feel ing for us. Man, I'm even imagining my apology to the nation as I'm being interviewed about losing myself and my family in the Rainforest and therefor requiring rescue. This vision is accompanied by another, of Explaining my stupidity to Mr E and Brother Bear about how I allowed this predicament to occur. Marching on in the almost complete dark, I swear to myself I can cry on Mr E's shoulder when we get home and I'll be soothed properly then. When we are safe.
6pm After what felt to be an eternity we emerge from the now darkened rainforest. There is very little light as we alternately rest and toil the remainder of our way back up the steep path that leads to the carpark. Finally, our grateful family safely tumbles into the car. We then forgo the third little town for another occasion and begin to make keen tracks for home. Kangaroo sleeps, exhausted. Kookaburra contemplates at extreme length, his invention for transporting ourselves and Mags the car instantaneously home, because, he just wants to be home. His sentiment is shared with the very relieved driver... me.
8.30pm We deliver Mumma Bear safely back home to Brother Bear. Confidingly, I begin to tell him of our endangering adventure. Brother Bear points out my further gross neglect in taking ourselves into that situation without burly men by our side. How vulnerable you were! He tells me and immediately I all too clearly see, what he means. Grandma, Mum and two little boys wandering around at dusk in the bush. If we had been unfortunate enough to be the victims of mugging or worse, tonight my boys may not be tucked up safely in their beds, Mumma Bear may not be home safely with Brother Bear and myself, here in Little House, may not be safely reflecting in the wee hours of the morning on what might have been. So as I say goodnight to my little place of Peace, Iri'ni, I'm going to certainly say a prayer of thanks for our safe return home tonight and vow to be a lot smarter in the future.
Despite Poor Mumma Bear falling 'victim' to the ridiculousness of me being me - the sometimes crazy, occasionally downright scary and not always but sometimes stupendously funny life that is mine - she loved her special Big Day Out and says enthusiastically she is extremely keen to do it again. Mumma Bear has only one condition though, she wants to be a lot fitter on our next adventure. For me, I'll be happy to have my watch and half a brain :)
oh.... *whispers* 'and the Mastercard ;)'
My Mumma Bear turned sixty this year way back in January and in her style she was very understated and I promised myself I would do something special for her or with her. I would do something!!!! No idea what :P As the months rolled by I conceived a plan to day trip it to a special bunch of tiny towns about two hours from here. Imagine a suburban hippy haven where the produce is always organic, Woolworths Supermarket is shunned, delicious cafes and multitudes of little sancturys, harboring expensive goodies beckon me and the Mastercard (the one card to rule them all ;) to sidle on in (I have to sidle, even though he isn't here I know Mr E will KNOW - he just does, a sixth sense!) and give that Credit Card a battering. Oh what a pleasurable plan!!! I'll show my Mumma these three such towns all located consecutively within about ten or so minutes from each other. I imagined sharing with Mumma, the luscious undulating pasture land where the cows have million dollar views. Scenery that grows all the more breathtaking as we putter (annoyingly, I'm sure, to the local motorists- 'Damn tourists' , I swear I can hear them cursing :O) languorously higher up into the mountains. Rainforest and lakes will be unveiled in their natural splendour that makes me gloriously pleased to live here in Oz. And Mumma Bear will have a beautiful, special, Perfect 60th Birthday outing from us :)
So how did it really go?
2am Why on earth am I still awake?! I need to drive so much in the morning. The night is not peaceful. All the little noises have natural sources but scenes from the worst horror movies I've seen creep their way into my head. I swear, once again, that I deserve to be haunted by ghastly images if I will subject myself to such crap. Dazed from the lack of sleep I wonder how well I'd go protecting my vulnerable little boys in the next room from the nasties of my imagination. Sliding out of bed, I'm hoping that the Thing Under the Bed doesn't grab my feet, and I walk cautiously around the house to be sure all is well.
6am Rise and Shine, Here Comes the Day. Throw all our stuff together and relent so much on the no lego in the car rule that I grab a whole bucketful to place between Kookaburra and Kangaroo, because I'd rather search for missing pieces and deal with tears over the lost items then let them watch more Movies on their little TV's in the backseats. We skip breakfast, grab Mumma from Brother Bears house and dive into drive through at the golden arches, to the complete pleasure of the vertically challenged crew in the back of the car. Opening up the brown, paper bag after paying and yep wouldn't you know it, the boys is there, but mine? Nope. No brekky. But hey, there's coffee. And after foregoing caffeine for the past week it's nice to indulge and I feel that I'm in need after last nights lack of Zzzzz's.
9am Thinking I'm making awesome time to a little pit-stop on the way to the triple pleasure towns, I get to the point of destination. I realize then, that I shouldn't have switched off the yabbering GPS because when it was telling me I was going the wrong way (boys thought this was hysterical, they love hearing Tom Tom tell me I'm doing something wrong) I really was going the wrong way. Okay, so that town that starts with K is different to this other one that also begins with K. I think my confusion is understandable because they both have three syllables to each of their names, too! C'mon! Be kind :D Yep. I'm so steaming mad at myself right then that I stew over the lost hour or so whilst I kindly turn old Tom Tom back on and proceed to trust the GPS.
9.30am Come back out at the highway a little closer to where we should be going.
10.30am Arrive at the correct K place with the same amount of syllables as the last K place we 'visited'. Kookaburra needs a break from the car. Poor guy gets car sick or is it that he remembers the amazing playground here? I would drive the hour or so just for the fun of this playground. It features a lot of very different play equipment and the town has such a sweet ambiance. Mumma's in good spirits and she toddles off to the Cheese Place while my Kiddilies have a beaut time at the park. Kookaburra hurtles on the flying fox at break neck speeds and I wonder if we'll be visiting the hospital today also.
As we leave K, I instruct Tom Tom to our destination but then find that we need to turn him off again. My boys are laughing hysterically in the back seat because Tom Tom really does want me to go the wrong way. This time there are signs and I have the correct name of our destinations. I choose to follow the signs.
11.30amish Phew, made it.
11.35amish Oooooh! A sign for a Lake, lets go there. Do we know how far? How long? Is it worth it? No. I'm driving. It's my steering wheel, so we're about to find out.
After about twenty minutes of winding and twisting, turning driving, I begin to doubt my decision. But never to let anyone see that I may be contemplating that I made an unwise choice, I figure we'll plug on and hope that our destination eventuates soon.
12pm Woohoo! We round a last bend and the Lake far exceeds our puny expectations. She is breath taking and magnificent and Beautiful. As we extract the last small person from the car I'm still stunned at the glory surrounding us and I had no idea it was here. I rapidly snap pictures in the hopes that at least two will be awesome. Wild Kookaburra's are swooping to be hand fed!!!! My Kookaburra holds out some sausage on his flat palm to tempt them and snap! the sausage is gone. Later this evening, Brother Bear regales me with his close encounters with such birds and describes their fearsome beaks - they are Kingfishers after all!! *FacePalm* myself!!! Stupid Woman, didn't even consider my Kookaburra could be in any sort of danger!
12.30pmish We drive repeatedly around the same full car park at the first Tiny Town. I finally give up and then drive past two eligible car parks which I neglect for something easier. Easier? Where? Eventually, we find somewhere easier to park. Easier involves not holding up traffic with reversing and No Kookaburra, this it isn't a timed park. He's always asking this after I received a fine for said offence locally. He's persistent and asks nearly every time we park!
Our happy crew admiringly wanders through the first Tiny Town, stopping frequently at various lovely shops and only sometimes leaving tearfully because of a No! More often, departure is joyful because of a tiny something. Kookaburra and Kangaroo's happiest buys are large lollipops, a splendidly handmade cake of soap each ($6!!!!!! each!!!!!!) and a necklace. A side-trip to the op shops of course, unearths a new treasure (*junk*) which results in more tears due to Kangaroo wanting to hug the 'new' truck, which is half his size, as we continue our wander around the town.
2pm We arrive at our second Tiny Town after only two mad careerings off the road to take photo's from amazing lookouts. The dashings off the road in our fine Motor Vehicle was perfectly safe, Mr E. No cars around and perfectly maneuvered but as the time is ticking on I 'm feeling desperate to pack more in with Mumma Bear, hence the dashing. As we drive into this tiny town, I wonder why on earth we bothered with the first. This is even more appealing and delightful. We happen upon a glassblowing artisans shop and become so absorbed in talking to the lady, watching a video on how the clever artist creates her mindbogglingly intricate works of art and having coronaries in keeping Kangaroo away from all the glass - he's named Kangaroo for good reason - that more time ticks on, pleasurably.
3pm Time to secure lunch. Fruit and scoffing a box of chippy biscuits, does not lunch make. Time to remedy that. Whilst strolling the entire beautiful strip, clicking happily away at the gazillion photo opportunities, I stupidly mention the existence of a rainforest nearby we could see, if we quickly consume our lunch and keep going. Kangaroo latches onto the image of a 'Rainforest' and does not let go. A little more shopping ensues, as well as toilet stops and during all this the clock is ticking onto......
4pm The cafe's and reasonably budget friendly restaurants are shutting up for the day!!! Eeek! We need sustenance! We secure a lovely little venue, reasonably priced and peruse the menu. Executive decisions are made regarding the meals and as I go to pay, wha'do you know?! Cash only, of course. Who me? Cash? I'm notorious for not having cash because it always finds itself spent on a justifiable cause. I have plenty of spending money on my debit card but as I eye the street for an ATM my careful Mumma Bear comes to the rescue with her cashed up purse to embarrass my poor penniless one ('I'll pay you back Mumma!').
4.15pm Food! Glorious Food!!! Everybody tucks in but Umm... I didn't pay for a hair in my burger! Time is of the essence. I'm feeling faint and a little crabby (so out of tune with the peaceful Mumma I want to be) and I weigh up my options. Complain and have a new burger cooked (like my hair has never accidentally fallen into my own cooking ;) or, by deftly removing said offending follicle we keep our momentum? I take one for the team, because increasingly Kangaroo is Very focused on the Rainforest and I think I'd like for them to see it. Naughtily, I encourage my family to inhale their meals at a moderately leisurely pace.
5pm Fortunately indigestion has been avoided and we arrive at the Rainforest. Hurriedly, but cautiously I herd my keen crew down the steep winding path to the beginning of the rainforest walk. Three tracks are identified but only one indicates a length and that, of course, is immediately eliminated being that it is nearly 5km's. We choose the Falls path. We're all keen to see waterfalls. Snap, snap - lots of pictures. Light is paramount and I remind everyone that we need to keep an eye on the time, which is difficult for me to do as I have lost my watch :( and no-one else has a watch. No matter. There are plenty of walkers and we need only be sensible. Quite a ways in we hear rushing water but yet we are no closer to these Falls. A fellow walker passes the other way telling ours boys to be sure to count the one hundred steps down. Well, we stopped counting after we got to one hundred and there were a lot more after that. We come to a rockpool, which was obligatorily beautiful but it is time to get our butts burning back up that mountain and get back before dark. Here is where it starts to become frightening. I imagine multitudes of scenarios as we laboriously trail our way back in the fading light to the car park. I piggy back Kangaroo all the way and more, back. Kookaburra is valiant, a brave, little knight who, as light is swiftly fading in the Rainforest, is reminding us to keep our eyes to the distant, light sky. And my Mumma Bear? With her poor knees and sixty year old body which has been tied up with working enormous hours and not having time for that all important fitness regime. How is she faring? Breathing heavily and pushing on as hard as she can. A real legend. How hard is it to be the adult in charge and realize you've messed up?! I have put them all at risk for not wrapping up the walk sooner. Eyes on the goal girl and we'll be okay. Take care of them and stay chipper. Instruct and don't let on even remotely how frightened I'm truly feel ing for us. Man, I'm even imagining my apology to the nation as I'm being interviewed about losing myself and my family in the Rainforest and therefor requiring rescue. This vision is accompanied by another, of Explaining my stupidity to Mr E and Brother Bear about how I allowed this predicament to occur. Marching on in the almost complete dark, I swear to myself I can cry on Mr E's shoulder when we get home and I'll be soothed properly then. When we are safe.
6pm After what felt to be an eternity we emerge from the now darkened rainforest. There is very little light as we alternately rest and toil the remainder of our way back up the steep path that leads to the carpark. Finally, our grateful family safely tumbles into the car. We then forgo the third little town for another occasion and begin to make keen tracks for home. Kangaroo sleeps, exhausted. Kookaburra contemplates at extreme length, his invention for transporting ourselves and Mags the car instantaneously home, because, he just wants to be home. His sentiment is shared with the very relieved driver... me.
8.30pm We deliver Mumma Bear safely back home to Brother Bear. Confidingly, I begin to tell him of our endangering adventure. Brother Bear points out my further gross neglect in taking ourselves into that situation without burly men by our side. How vulnerable you were! He tells me and immediately I all too clearly see, what he means. Grandma, Mum and two little boys wandering around at dusk in the bush. If we had been unfortunate enough to be the victims of mugging or worse, tonight my boys may not be tucked up safely in their beds, Mumma Bear may not be home safely with Brother Bear and myself, here in Little House, may not be safely reflecting in the wee hours of the morning on what might have been. So as I say goodnight to my little place of Peace, Iri'ni, I'm going to certainly say a prayer of thanks for our safe return home tonight and vow to be a lot smarter in the future.
Despite Poor Mumma Bear falling 'victim' to the ridiculousness of me being me - the sometimes crazy, occasionally downright scary and not always but sometimes stupendously funny life that is mine - she loved her special Big Day Out and says enthusiastically she is extremely keen to do it again. Mumma Bear has only one condition though, she wants to be a lot fitter on our next adventure. For me, I'll be happy to have my watch and half a brain :)
oh.... *whispers* 'and the Mastercard ;)'
1 comment:
Jane, when oh when are you going to start working on a book???? Seriously girl, you are FUNNY!!! :D Thanks for the laugh, and I really truly enjoyed reading about your very big adventure. :) Love you. xx
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