This then is active listening. In such cases parents are far from silent: they are interested, and show it by confirming their child's feelings and thoughts and by helping the child to think it through.
Using this approach:
* parents rarely give remedies or attempt to rescue..... - unless this is clearly necessary;
* they rarely advise..... - unless the child really needs information;
* they rarely distract the child from the problem..... - unless the child is a chronic whinger!
.........
Many parents have found active listening a great relief. They don't have to keep their child forever happy and they don't have to solve the child's problems for him. With active listening they can help the child, while leaving the responsibility, and pleasure, of a solution to the child. The trick is to ask yourself, 'Could my child benefit, in the long run, from solving this problem himself?' You can offer time, clarity and understanding so that a problem can be turned into a learning experience.
Sometimes parents must intervene...... become involved and defend their children's rights because children are powerless to defend themselves. In some cases, kids do NOT want our help - just our support. To get involved would be the wrong thing....
'Just listening' is a powerful medicine. If we can hold back from putting instant band-aids on every hurt, we can enter the deeper world of our children.
Sound advice I'm trying to remember :)
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